It's important to focus on the positive aspects of a partner rather than just the negatives, as this can help maintain a healthy relationship and prevent feelings of resentment.

To help someone change, it's more effective to engage them in activities that shift their emotional state rather than lecturing them about their problems.

Being observant of yourself leads to automatic change; trying to change yourself directly is often circular and unproductive.

When you see a behavior in someone that changes your perception of them, it can lead to an immediate shift in how you interact with them, which is more effective than trying to change your behavior through repetition.

When giving feedback, focus on motivating behavior change rather than self-expression; trim everything that doesn't contribute to that goal.

When giving feedback, focus on specific behaviors that can be improved rather than making broad negative statements about someone's abilities, as this approach is more constructive and less demotivating.

Changing the context in which decisions are made can be more effective than trying to change people's minds directly.

Focus on the inputs you can control in life and work, as you cannot directly control the outputs.

You can't change other people; they only change through their own trauma or insights, and never on your schedule or in a way you prefer.