Often, it takes a crisis or trauma for people to reach a point where they are motivated to change, as they seek to escape feelings of discomfort. When you can see yourself through someone else's eyes, that's the moment you begin to change, as you start to notice how you've been thinking, acting, and feeling for years.

Understanding is far more important than discipline when it comes to mental matters. Once you see the truth of something, you cannot unsee it, and that realization can change your behavior immediately.

Understanding the dynamics of human behavior can help you navigate social interactions more effectively.

Being observant of yourself leads to automatic change; trying to change yourself directly is often circular and unproductive.

Changing the environment or the state that someone is in can effectively influence their cognitive and emotional states, which is a practical and ethical way to impact behavior.

To help someone change, it's more effective to engage them in activities that shift their emotional state rather than lecturing them about their problems.

Changing the context in which decisions are made can be more effective than trying to change people's minds directly.

When people understand they can change their emotional state and practice it, they often see significant changes in their health and biology.

To influence your partner positively, focus on changing your own behavior instead of trying to change them directly.