DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Grief involves a cycle of yearning and despair, where we must acknowledge feelings of protest and despair to effectively move through the grieving process.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Grief is a natural response to loss, encompassing physical, emotional, and mental reactions to the death of someone close.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Grief and grieving are distinct; grief is the immediate feeling, while grieving is the process of how that feeling changes over time.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Grieving is like the stock market; it fluctuates daily but shows a general trajectory over time, indicating that while grief may never fully go away, it can evolve.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

The relationship between grief and love is profound; understanding what we have lost is essential to grasping the impact of that loss.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

The 'gone but everlasting' theory explains the conflict in grief, where we know a loved one is gone but still feel an implicit belief that they may still be present in some way.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

People often delay the grieving process due to a refusal to accept the new reality of loss, which can complicate their emotional healing.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Cultural practices and beliefs about death can help individuals navigate grief by providing frameworks for understanding and maintaining connections with those who have passed.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

The process of grieving is not about letting go but about transforming our understanding of our relationship with the deceased, integrating their memory into our lives.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Yearning for a loved one is a fundamental part of grief, driven by dopamine, which is linked to our desire to reconnect with those we've lost.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Grief isn't just about sadness; it involves a complex interplay of emotions, including protest and despair, which can manifest as guilt and anger.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Our need for loved ones is a homeostatic process, similar to our need for food and water, and it's not addiction-like.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Addiction disrupts the brain's homeostatic circuits, leading to a narrow focus on substances like drugs, while healthy attachments to loved ones support emotional well-being.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Cultural practices around grief, such as Irish wakes, provide a framework for expressing grief and understanding death, which many modern cultures lack.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

In cultures with strong grief literacy, people learn to navigate their emotions through shared experiences, which helps them process loss more effectively.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Despair serves a purpose in the grieving process by stopping us from searching for what we've lost, which can be physically costly.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

The public health model of bereavement support aims to provide education and resources to help individuals understand and cope with their grief.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Grief can lead to significant health risks, including increased likelihood of heart attacks shortly after the loss of a loved one, highlighting the need for support during bereavement.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Understanding the physiological changes that occur during grief is crucial for managing health risks and supporting those who are grieving.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Support systems, including bereavement groups, are essential for helping individuals navigate their grief and understand their emotional responses.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Grief is a natural response, and our bodies are resilient, but many people experience intense physical pain, like a lump in the throat or chest pain, when grieving.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

In my lab, we found that during intense grief, blood pressure rises significantly, especially in those who report the most intense grief, and this can lead to long-term health risks.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Support from others is crucial during grief, as it helps us cope with the physical and emotional challenges we face, even though it doesn't eliminate the pain of loss.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Grief is not a disease; it's a natural process, but it can be medically risky, similar to pregnancy, which requires monitoring and support.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

We need to develop systems of care for grieving individuals, just as we do for pregnant individuals, to assess their physical health and provide necessary support.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Grief is not linear; it involves a complex interplay of emotions that can occur simultaneously, and it's important to recognize that everyone's grieving process is unique.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

People often feel pressure to grieve in a certain way, but it's essential to understand that grief can look different for each person and may not align with societal expectations. It's okay to feel joy and engage in activities like falling in love or going on vacation after a loss, as it doesn't diminish the love for the person who has passed.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Your internal relationship with a loved one can evolve, allowing you to honor them while also moving forward in life.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Grieving is a form of learning, and through loss, we can discover our resilience and the support of others.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

The 'if only' thoughts that arise after a loss can lead to guilt and self-blame, but they don't change the reality that the loved one is gone.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

It's important to shift your environment when you find yourself ruminating on guilt or grief, as this can help change your thought patterns.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Having a belief system or understanding of life and death can predict how one copes with grief, often leading to less severe grief after a loss.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Understanding death and contemplating it can be incredibly useful, helping us to live more fully in the present.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Celebrating life and allowing loved ones to grieve in a way that feels right is important, as grief is a natural response to loss, and it's essential to allow yourself to feel it, even if it feels overwhelming.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

There's no way to optimize your grieving process; it's a personal journey that unfolds in its own time.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Mental health involves oscillation between dealing with loss and restoring a meaningful life, which is a sign of health.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

The process of avoidance in grief can lead to increased emotional pain, making it harder to cope with loss.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

When grieving, it's common to feel guilty about past interactions, but it's essential to remember all the positive moments shared.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

The brain's tendency to zoom in on loss can lead to feelings of guilt, but over time, we can learn to zoom out and see the bigger picture.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

It's important to seek professional help if feelings of grief worsen over time, as this is not a normal response.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

As we experience loss, our perception of time can change, leading us to appreciate smaller moments more deeply.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Learning to regulate our attention helps us navigate grief and can enhance our emotional resilience.

DM

Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

06/02/25

@ Andrew Huberman

Experiencing loss teaches us to appreciate abundance in life, as we learn to find joy in smaller moments.

Healing From Grief & Loss | Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

Takeaways